I woke up early again.
Just like I always do,
So I can watch you walk
Past my house on your way
To the places I'm not welcome.
A window pane is the closest
I can ever seem to get to you.
Because the closer I get
The farther you run away
Until I have to walk across the Atlantic
Just to see your face.
But baby, I'm not Jesus
And I can't swim.
It's been a year, but you're still constantly there
The memory of you and the pain you couldn't bear
No matter what I said or did I just could not get through
And now I'm forced to live every day without you
They tell me there's nothing I could have done
To stop the blade that cut your ties
But this hollow ache is making me come undone
All I want is you back by my side
I always keep your note right by my side
I read it over and over until I can only stare
I might not have known just how often you cried
But why did you think that nobody cared?
I tried to talk to you at lunch today,
Only to have you look at me
Like I wasn't worth being looked at.
You don't understand, do you?
That I would walk through burning fire,
If only it would make you smile.
That I would face my darkest fears,
To rescue you from yours.
But maybe bravery just doesn't
Appeal to you; shows of strength
Just serve to scare you away.
Or perhaps you see me for what I really am:
A coward who only pretends he's brave.
You are a rose that grows in the garden
A beauty shown for all to see
But it means your thorns must harden
If you want to protect yourself from me
Such a lovely flower looks so frail
Sheltered by a picket fence
Beware it does not become your jail
A prison for your own defense
The garden rose grows much too quickly
Then petals fall before autumn's leaves
But the wild rose whose thorns are prickly
Knows she is safe from beauty's thieves
You are like a child running off in every direction
Wanting to do everything all at once
"Slow down" is the phrase I will never tell you
Because an inch is not a thousand miles
Close your eyes and breathe in deeply
It will all be there when you awake
"Patience" is the only thing you'll ever need
Because novels are written one word at a time
The need for constant communication
Has left you blind to what's in front of your face
"Solitude" is one thing you will never appreciate
Because that pebble once broke off of a mountain
I wrote you a love letter,
But I burned it and threw it away.
Because that's what you're
Supposed to do with trash, right?
I lit some candles to cover
The smell of burning paper.
And I made myself come tea:
Chamomile and lavender.
To drink while watching
Reruns of an old cop show
With a character
That reminds me of you.
The tea calmed me down,
But I know better than to think
That I will get any sleep tonight.
I'm watching the sky
And waiting for the rain
So I can dance under it
While the drops disguise
My tears
They start to fall
And I have to laugh
To disguise the sobs
In case anyone is around
To hear
The lightning strikes
And the thunder claps
It hides the sound of
My heart breaking from
My fears
So late last night that it was early this morning
I lay awake thinking of you
And how the gentle curve of your upper lip
Becomes more and more beautiful
Every time you smile
And I thought of how this summer night
Already unbearably hot
Would become infinitely warmer
If you were on the other side
Of this lonely bed
And I imagined that the sheets
Tangled around your ankles
Would mirror your hair
Tangled around your sleeping face
At 2:00 in the morning